I see all your oddly specific 2024 recaps and I raise you with this one about notebooks.

I am the first to admit I have a bit of a stationary obsession. When I feel stressed, I love to go to P.W. Akkerman on the Langebrugsteeg in Amsterdam, just to look at the various notebooks and index cards they have for sale. I always have to restrain myself for not buying one when I visit, and sometimes I succeed at that. There is just something so promising about getting a new notebook, and thinking of all the ways you could make notes in it to declutter your mind.

Here are, in rough chronological order, some notebooks I bought or used in 2024. And yes, they are mostly dotted Leuchtturm1917 notebooks, and no, they are not all from P.W. Akkerman. (But never ordered online!)

Leuchtturm Classic Medium (A5) "Rising Sun"

Dotted, 251 pages, hardcover, 80g/m²
Technically I bought this orange/yellow one in 2023. It was in cellophane in my bag when some person broke the passenger window of my car, trying to get my laptop out of it, on the last day of the year. The thief must have touched it, for it was in the laptop compartment, but they threw the bag – notebook included – back into my car when they noticed there was no laptop.

On 1 January, I opened the cellophane and started writing a long form diary in it. There was a lot on my mind at that time, and I had a lot of free time (the company I worked for just went bankrupt), so I wrote down my thoughts in tiny handwriting. I used the first 61 pages in January, up to page 130 in february and stopped on page 161 at the end of March. Then a few pages with entries of September, October, November. In December I really picked it up again and I am now at page 210.

Leuchtturm Classic Paperback (B6+) "Stone Blue"

Dotted, 123 pages, soft cover, 80g/m²
I honestly don't remember if I bought this one this year, but I think so. Either way, I did not write a single thing it in, even though it is out of the cellophane.

Bloc Rhodia Nº 16 (dotpad, A5, ringed)

Dotted, 80g/m²
This is technically not a notebook, but more a notepad. It's by my knowledge the only dotted notepad on the market, and the paper is nice. I already had the same sized dotpad Nº 16 without rings, but I wanted a new one because I wanted to take notes and work, and the lined notepads they provided were just not up to my taste.

I never really pulled out any paper of it, so I know the first sheet is dated 4 March 2024, as that was my first day at work. Sometimes I did write down a date. The last written pages contain notes from my first D&D sessions as a DM, in May 2024.

Leuchtturm Classic Pocket (A6) "Fox Red"

Dotted, 123 pages, soft cover, 80g/m²
Again one of those I don't know for sure I bought in 2024, but at least I started using it last year. The first page has notes about a D&D session in which I played the character Voks, on 11 May. This was a session with a Eurovision theme, and I'm glad I have some paper notes of it. That was also the purpose of this book for me: notes about RPGs, so that I can avoid using the Rhodia dotpad for it.

The book also contains notes about sessions of Pirate Borg, Mausritter, Delta Green and goes as recently as 6 November for a session of Cloud Empress. There is a folded sheet of Rhodia dotpad paper in it with a rudimentary character sheet for my Cloud Empress character "Bloody". I will try to continue using this book for specifically this purpose of RPG notes in 2025.

Moleskine Cahier Pocket Black

Ruled, three cahiers, 70g/m²
This is the beginning of a little graveyard. Between May and August, I was compiling a portable DM-kit: a set of tokens and cards I can use as a Dungeon Master / story teller during RPG sessions. For this, I bought a small case that's originally intended to house a portable hard drive, and I stuffed it to the brim with pencils, wooden game components and index cards. (I will not include all the index cards I bought in this post.)

For this purpose, I also got a new set of these Moleskine cahiers. I have a lot of them, in various states of being written in, so I just wanted some more. My perfectionism decided at the time that there was a better option out there, so I did not end up using them.

Leuchtturm Jottbook Double (A6) "Light Grey / Black"

Dotted, two cahiers of 59 pages, flex cover, 80g/m²
These two nice dotted cahiers did fit perfectly in the aforementioned hard drive case. But what is more: they have more pages (I think, the Moleskine is unnumbered) and they have dots! As you might have noticed, I love dotted notebooks.

I just looked at the two now: the Light Grey one is unwritten, the Black one has a few unclear notes, written in one session I DM'ed. But hey, they are more perfect!

Bloc Rhodia Nº 18 (dotpad, A4)

Dotted, 80g/m²
I know, I keep going back and forth. This is again more a notepad, but somewhere in the same timeframe I bought it because as a DM, I wanted to write my notes on big dotted paper that would lay flat behind my DM-screen. Hence the A4 dotpad, no rings this time.

Leuchtturm Classic Paperback (B6+) "Black"

Dotted, 219 pages, hard cover, 80g/m²
This one I bought because I wanted a notebook to write in at work again. Previously I had been using the Rhodia dotpad for that purpose, but I disliked the fact that I was using a notepad as a notebook. If you never pull out the pages, why not have it bound? Also: I wasn't really taking notes at all anymore at that point, and I wanted to change that.

I started at the end of July and used a whopping 6 pages of the notebook, as I broke my foot in the beginning of August, which in turn changed a lot of habits around work, most notably the fact that I had to work from home for a while.

At the end of November, I bought the book The Bullet Journal Method by Ryder Caroll, which made me want to start one. Since I only used the first six pages of this notebook (making it therefore already imperfect), it became the perfect starting point for me. It has been my Bullet Journal all throughout December and I just started January 2025 on page 48.

Leuchtturm × Bullet Journal: Pocket (A5) Black

Custom dotted, three cahiers of 46 pages, flex cover, 80g/m²
I just had to instantly buy this the moment I saw it lying down at P.W. Akkerman. It's a set of three small booklets with dotted pages, but with the special extra dots at the middle of the page, so you can easily divide the page in two by drawing a line through those. And maybe their most distinct feature: they are designed to use sideways, in landscape orientation.

I haven't used a single one of these... they just look too pretty. But I am sure that this partly influenced me to (again) look at the Bullet Journal method, even though it was months after the purchase.

Leuchtturm Classic Pocket (A6) "Stone Blue"

Ruled, 187 pages, hard cover, 80g/m²
Yes, you read it correct: ruled. I bought this small book for a specific purpose: I wanted to work out a bit more and wanted to log exactly what exercises I did during that. Some Youtuber recommended using "an ugly cheap notebook" for this, so I went with the ruled version.

I instantly hated it. I don't really comprehend how the same company that makes the best dotted notebooks of all time, can also make a ruled notebook with the annoying text 'DATUM/DATE' on top of every page. As if every day takes up exactly one page? Sometimes I have more to write, sometimes I can fit three days on one page. Leave me alone!

I have here workouts from 23 September to 16 December. It even went to Gran Canaria with me. 16 December does mean that I fell off the wagon a bit, and to that I will admit. I have been doing undocumented workouts, but writing this bit makes me realize I should return to this humble booklet.

Leuchtturm Classic Paperback (B6+) "Port Red"

Dotted, 219 pages, hard cover, 80g/m²
I distinctly remember buying this one after I broke my foot, at the local Athenaeum Boekhandel here in Bijlmer, because I believe I bought it while in the wheelchair. There was also a bundle of stories by queer people that I bought with it. I recently rediscovered the unopened paper bag with the two inside in a pile in my living room.

The notebook is still in cellophane and I think I will use it as a future Bullet Journal once my current one fills up. (I only rediscovered this one when I already started using the black one, but I think picking the black one was the right choice anyway.)

Leuchtturm × Bullet Journal: 2nd Edition (A5)

Custom dotted, 206+ pages, hard cover, 120g/m²
No. I did not in fact buy this one, nor will I in the near future. In the past, I might have done it, but my current Bullet Journal includes a list of "to impulse buy" at a later date in the month, which successfully kept me off on this one. I love the custom dots, I love to support the original creator of the method, but no, I think 120g/m² is just way too heavy paper for my needs. The page count is quite a bit lower than the classic Leuchtturm, and I still find the book just too bulky.

Since I broke my foot on the 4th of August, I've been writing weekly notes about what happened in my life. I must admit I mostly wrote it for myself. On the 1st of December I started a paper Bullet Journal (a minimalist and functional one), which I might blog more about this month. Since I started with that, I struggled to keep up the weekly notes on top of the journal. So therefore I now follow suit with Henrique's habit and start a Monthly Digest. Let's see if I can make it to 12.

Health

Let start with what made me start the weekly notes: my foot. I think I still make progress, but progress is slow. Last month I had still a lot of soreness and even a bit of pain in the mornings. I am still experiencing a bit of that, but it has diminished so much that I don't really want to call the morning feeling "pain" anymore. I still don't dare to run though.

I've been walking on barefoot shoes all month, so that's still going strong after almost four months. In addition to new Injinji toe socks, I also got a cute little stool for Christmas. I use it to sit on while at home, but at the moment of writing I'm sitting on the floor on a small cushion, with my laptop on the stool. I'm very pleased with the setup.

The goal of floorsitting is to increase my mobility. I noticed that my lotus pose is really improving, for example. Another thing I did and tracked in the Bullet Journal: every single day of December I did a forward stretch. In November I could not touch my toes while keeping my legs straight, and now I can. I will continue to stretch in the new year.

The training of my arms got a bit of a hit during Christmas time, but I did notice how much easier some of the exercises became, so I'm not demotivated to continue that too.

Life

In my Bullet Journal I now keep a list of every day of the month, with a one-line summary of the day, which gives me a very neat overview of what happened.

The weekend I stopped my weekly notes was actually the weekend I went away to Appelscha with friends, for a weekend of boardgames and Hunnebed-viewing. There were other boardgame nights too, notably the night that I played three games of Root and the night were we played Blood on the Clocktower at G.'s house with 11 people and G. as our beloved story teller.

It was of course also a month of family happenings. Aside from the obvious ones, on 21 December I went to Den Haag for the opening of the exposition of new members of Pulchri. My mom is one of them, and I was very happy I could attend for this special moment for her.

I also survived both my second month at my new job, as well as our kerstborrel, so that's nice.

Reading

I'm still reading The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss, as I have been since mid July. It's just a big book and since Gran Canaria in October I have had my mind on other things (such as my new job). It's a really good book though, so I will continue reading. I'm now at chapter seventy-three, so I am nearing the end. (I know, and then there is a second book if I want to.)

I did finish Polysecure by Jessica Fern this month. I am still not sure if I identify as polyamorous, but the book is more about attachment theory (which I value) and non-monogamy in general (which, by lack of a partner, I am). I really liked her approach of not defaulting to "you should find The One" as a solution to all problems and the book was very helpful to me. Recommend reading to anyone, including those in monogamous relationships.

I also finished The Bullet Journal Method by Ryder Caroll, which I started on the well timed date of 30 November. This meant that the next day, I started a Bullet Journal in an "old" Leuchtturm 1917 dotted notebook on 1 December. It's an interesting read, even though I already knew the method before. There's enough reflection in there that I might want to reread it in 6 months time. (Yes, I just added that to my Future Log.)

Finally, I started in Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach, but I didn't make enough progress to talk about it this month.

Intentions

I wanted to add this to Henrique's template: my intentions for the next month. As I stated before: I want to continue stretching and working out. I would also like to focus a bit more on eating healthy too, as I notice I have more energy the following day if I do. (I won't publicly describe how bad my current habits are here.)

On my habit tracker for this month I also added "reading". My new job allows me to travel by public transport a bit more, which gives me a good solid 20 + 20 minutes of reading. On the habit tracker I will just add a check mark if I read any page at all, at any place. Let's see if that helps me finish The Name of the Wind.

I am doing okay, but I feel like things are all over the place.

Happened

• My foot behaved weirdly. I switched from the medical sturdy sandal to the normal sturdy shoes. My discomfort increased enormously, to the point I would certainly call "pain". But it didn't seem logical to me that my bone healing would take this much of deterioration, that I would need another week in the sturdy sandal. So I made up my own mind again and switched back to the barefoot shoes. Honestly, I feel stiffness in my foot, but this is so much better than the pain in the sturdy shoes. I am now back to treating the discomfort as something I have to push through.
• The second part of the week, therefore, I am actively touching the (in the morning) painful parts of my foot, massaging directly on top of the fracture. It seems to work, at least the morning pain goes away that way. It is scary to play my own doctor and physiotherapist so much, but I since I wasn't really helped by my actual physiotherapist, I feel like I have to just solve it with experimenting and listening to my body.
• Wednesday I went to the Advanced JS meetup in Amsterdam, because Henrique was there too. Saw an interesting talk by Nimo Beeren about AI models you can access via Javascript in Chrome, and one about generics in Typescript by Dillon Parfitt, which made me focus on a bit more on the of any and generics at work the next day. The pizza was also good.
• Thursday was the biweekly (fortnightly?) edition of Boardgayming at NDSM, this time themed "Animals". We played a cute simple card game named Super Kawaii Pets, which I loved because it has the same properties as Regenwormen: your actions matter very much for the other players and there's interaction, but if it's not your turn, you don't have to pay attention, which is great for being social during the game. We also played 9 Lives, which made me think of Cat in the Box, since it's also a cat-themed twist on a normal trick taking card game. This twist is also certainly worth it.
• Youtube recommended me videos about furniture free living, which I think is reasonable now that I saw every barefoot shoe video out there. Since Friday I've been trying to ignore my sofa and just sit on the floor and it's not at all bad. Not removing my sofa from my house yet, but it's an interesting experiment.
• Saturday my (baby) brother held a dinner party since he's now 25. Time flies.
• Sunday I ignored most of the world, since it was the day of the Zevenheuvelenloop running event in Nijmegen, which I was really looking forward to. There is unfortunately just no way I can run 15 kilometer yet. I really hope that after next week, in which I will do a lot of massages, I can finally run 100 meters. We will see.

Played

• Mascarade
• Spots
• Super Kawaii Pets
• 9 Lives
• Exploding Kittens, original + NSFW expansion

Read

• Polysecure by Jessica Fern (I feel I am almost at the point where I stopped last time)

A week of coming back, a bit of setback (foot hurts more than I want) and a lot of reading and thinking, but also a new beginning.

Happened

• On Monday I few back from Gran Canaria to Amsterdam. I wrote a little about how returning to the Netherlands was very alienating to me, probably also because the traveling was really tiring. The days after I tried to recover from it all.
• Thursday I went to Utrecht to go to the barber (yes) and also visited Subcultures again. This resulted in me buying the Mothership RPG box set, for which I didn't really have budget anymore but hey I love it. Especially the Warden's Operation Manual contains good GM advice for pretty much any game, I can see why this won prices. Can't wait to plan a session (it has been too long).
• Friday 1 November I started by new job at Atleta. It was mostly installing the laptop and getting to know the team and codebases and then it was already weekend, but it was a good start. Looking forward to dive in more on Monday.
• Over the week I noticed that every morning, my left (previously broken) foot was hurting. It was fine, as it went away during the day, but by Saturday I noticed that the morning pain did increase. Next week I'm going to make an effort to not walk too much. Mountain climbing on barefoot shoes in Gran Canaria was fun, but maybe not the smartest.
• Saturday I also visited Eindhoven for the belated birthday party of Henrique, which was at an "All you can eat" restaurant. Since Tuesday I also started to track calories and this made that pretty much impossible for Saturday. But it was a lot of fun!
• I started the calorie tracking because I suspected I am probably eating too little again. And indeed: this week I really struggled to hit the calorie counts that my Apple Watch said I burned (bearing in mind that "active energy" and "resting energy" are different metrics which you should add up together). I also noticed that in the beginning of the week, I would feel hungry at around -900 kcal, meaning the moment when I burned 900 kcal more than I ate that day. Later on in the week, I started to get hungry when I hit 0, which feels to me much healthier.
• The other point is that I've been slowly dipping into more and more calisthenics over the past month: I've bought a small notebook and I have been tracking push-ups and other body-weight exercises in it. I can now finally do full push ups: Saturday I did three times three (a month ago I could not do a single one). Eating enough calories and enough protein seems to be important for this. (Thus I should revisit my earlier post about protein chips?)
• Also did some inner searching by starting to read Polysecure by Jessica Fern again. I don't consider myself poly-amorous, but I have been the loose part of other people's non-monogamy. The "secure" part of the title refers to attachment theory, which I delved into a lot in January and February of this year. It's nice to re-read it in the face of my holiday crush and analyze my reaction to that. Maybe I should write a separate blogpost about it, but before that I need to decide how much of it I actually want to share.
• Finally: I reduced my time on Youtube significantly compared to pre-Gran Canaria and I try to keep that and replace it all with reading (and writing) more. Honesty makes me confess though: my Instagram time has a bit of an uptick. Nothing is perfect I guess.

Read

• The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss (chapters 57-67 on the plane; 68-70 at home)
• Polysecure by Jessica Fern (started again, introduction and chapters 1 and 2)
• Mothership Sci-Fi Horror RPG: Player's Survival Guide (full) and Warden's Operation Manual (half)

Listened

• a podcast about Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach but I can't remember which episode

Second and last week on Gran Canaria. It’s been nice, with reasonable recovery of my foot, so I have been quite active.

Happened

• As I walked way too much last week, I tried a day at the apartment complex on Monday. I’ve only been out for some groceries and dinner, which I kept close too. Just sitting next to the pool and reading a book is indeed very relaxing. I struggle with it because “I could do this at home” and I could and should, but it was good for my foot and mind to take a break.
• On Tuesday, I finally got the car I reserved way too late. I drove it across the island through the mountains, to a highest point of around 1750 meters, but with a lot of climbing in between. I wrote a long Dutch blogpost about this.
• I also got out halfway to climb up to Roque Nublo. This I did record, so I know I reached the rock in 22 minutes, passing by a lot of families with children. The whole trip is on Strava (which I should still import onto this site).
• Wednesday I still had the car and went to a “Waterfall trail” I found on the internet. Very nice hike with less children, more challenge, but still very doable. I did both of these hikes on the barefoot shoes without the soles in, making me feel every surface along the route, which was very nice, but still with protection from the sharp rocks.
• Thursday was a bit of a rest day. Friday as well: not walking much and trying out the swimming pool, the beach and the weird machines they had at the hotel gym (I discovered the assisted dips machine and it was good).
• Actually, I’ve been working out in that gym every odd day of the holidays. As I said before: after my foot broke, I noticed I had no power in my arms at all. I’m changing that now.
• Saturday I went to the airport to get a new car, and I reserved an Opel Corsa this time, so I would hopefully fit. There was a very long queue in front of the office, which in the end took me 1 hour and 47 minutes to get through. Turns out they were completely overbooked and were just handing cars out as they came in downstairs. I got a much more luxurious SEAT Arona for the same price.
• Saturday, I drove the Arona to the highest peak of the island. It was cloudy and windy, however, so I have not actually been to the highest point: I did not dare to leave the car and there wouldn’t have been anything to see anyway. It was interesting to drive around in the clouds. I also visited Teror, which was cold and reminded me of Dutch summers.
• Sunday I drove around the island, following the eastern road to the north and then back via the highway on the west, back to my apartment in the south. Then after a final visit to the gym, I went through the middle to Fataga for a last hike. The Arona is much too big for my taste, but it was very fast compared to my Volkswagen Up, and the carplay was very pleasant.
• (Writing this on the airport but hey, today is a new week!)

Playlist

Most of these tracks are here because I Shazammed them in a bar. Isabel Pantoja is there twice because of the drag lipsync performance I saw. Japanese 90s was just something I needed.

• Sinceramente - Annalisa
• ZORRA - Nebulossa
• Hoy Quiero Confesarme - Isabel Pantoja
• Marinero de Luces - Isabel Pantoja
• I Will Go With You (Con Te Partiró) - Donna Summer
• ラブ・ストーリーは突然に (Sudden Love Story) - Kazumasa Oda

Read

• The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss (chapters 37-56, all on the island)

It's week 10 and I ran again, for a very short distance but still. In the beginning of the week there was pain every morning, which I could get rid of by massaging and stretching, but at the end my foot feels mostly fine.

Happened

• On Monday I visited the physiotherapist again. He was 15 minutes late, yet ended our session at the normal time. He placed two tapes on my foot and gave me a new exercise. I really don't believe the tape helps at all, which means I also won't get the placebo effect from it, so when he said to schedule a new appointment in three weeks I just didn't. I'll massage and feel my way out of this myself.
• Improvisation class is still going on every Tuesday evening. Last week I totally locked down during an exercise where we had to interrupt someone else's monologue by repeating two of their words and starting our own monologue. I just couldn't find good spots to interrupt, and when there was one, I was thinking too deep about it and therefore missed my chances. This week there was an exercise where there would be two characters on stage, but four performers, who would swap roles on the cues "inside" and "outside". It went great. Last week I felt very stupid, this week I felt like I could actually learn this improv thing.
• Wednesday I first visited the Miró exposition in Beelden aan Zee with my stepmom and then visited by dad together. When having coffee at the museum we sat at the exact spot where I sad with my dad for (I believe) the last time we went to a museum together. Apart from the emotional undertone it's a nice museum with interesting sculptures.
• Wednesday I also noticed how the balance of my left foot improved, so I tested it. It was very boring, but I made it to 7:35 minutes on my previously broken foot. There is still soreness every morning but we're getting closer and closer to being healed fully.
• Also started walking a lot more this week, by just going for walks, by walking parts of routes I would've cycled (if I had the time) and by getting off one or two metro stations earlier and walk the last bit. The vast majority of these walks are on barefoot shoes, as I really exclusively wear those, but since this week I also have a pair of the Altra Escalante shoes, which are basically barefoot shoes (wide toe box, zero drop), but with cushioning, to make some of the walks easier.
• Friday and Saturday there were boardgames: Friday evening there was a boardgame evening at work, also functioning partly as my goodbye, and Saturday I went to the Boardgayming XL event. I played Tokyo Highway at both of them, but also others: there is again a small list of games below this post.
• Saturday evening A. and I were trying to catch the metro, so I ran 50 meters to still get it. It went well, and I don't think it was too risky: I had the cushioned Altra shoes on and I did not go all out. Also: 50 meters is very manageable. I will try more walks next week, and maybe 100 meters running?

Played

• Codenames: Pictures
• Perudo
• Regenwormen
• Tokyo Highway: Rainbow City
• Eternitium
• Let's Call the Exorcist
• Speculaas
• The Dick Sits
• For the Queen

Watched

• House of Cards (rewatching)

Henrique is forcing me into participating in this collective blogging event called the "IndieWeb Carnival", this time hosted by ZinRicky. This month's topic is "Multilingualism in a Global Web", but I'll just write a bit about my own use of different languages on this site and on social media.

Let's start with the languages I speak. I am native Dutch and I am fairly fluent in English. I also understand some Japanese as I have been self studying on and off for over 15 years now. According to my middle school diploma I also know French and German, and I indeed proved to be able to have some basic conversations in Essen this weekend, but my French is really a withered plant at the moment. I did a Swedish course for beginners around 2011 and even though I still know some words, sentences and intonations, I have just removed it from my LinkedIn profile because a recruiter reached out to me regarding a Swedish speaking job offer I am neither interested in nor qualified for. I also have Duolingo "my cat is an apple" proficiency in Spanish, Italian, Ukrainian and Russian. On parties without too many language nerds I dare to say "name any language and I'll know a fact about it," because this is true for most languages normal people would mention.

Then about this blog: I started writing exclusively in Dutch, as that is my native language. When I "joined" the IndieWeb, I started writing posts that were relevant to an IndieWeb audience in English, as I knew only one person on the IndieWeb who understood Dutch at the time. Since I broke my foot 9 weeks ago, I started weekly notes and somehow I started those in English (probably mostly because the week notes I read in my RSS reader are all in English too, so it felt part of the genre.)

Thus, previously I had the distinction "IndieWeb is English, rest is Dutch", then it moved to "personal is Dutch, rest is English", but now I also gone away with that. I guess it's now just "however I feel like it". There is also the thing that I care less about the audience for my Dutch posts, so maybe I write English for others and Dutch for myself?

As for social media: I have separate Dutch and English Twitter accounts, both being inactive due to someone buying the platform. I also have a "Seb leert Zweeds" account, on which I posted short and badly written Swedish tweets back in the day. The Twitter distinction of Dutch and English was also: Dutch for random thoughts, personal stuff, English for being professional, following mostly web developers and tech accounts.

I don't know exactly what to say about multilingualism on the bigger web. I read whatever I can read, which comes down to both Dutch and English (Japanese is already too hard to read if it's not on NHK News Web Easy). I sometimes write my posts in Dutch with the idea that people who are interested will use a translator app, but I am also aware that I never really do that when I read myself.

I do mark all my posts with a language, so that they show up in the proper feeds. People can therefore subscribe to only my English posts and skip the Dutch. This would've made more sense if I was more strict about the topic within each language, I assume, but hey I am not writing this for money... this is a personal blog.

This week I went to Essen, so my "Played" list is a bit out of proportion.

Happened

• As I posted last week's update on Monday, and as I was reading back on my notes, I saw the progress I made and decided to go in deep with a foot massage and explore my painful and tight spots. This resulted in a huge improvement in the overall stiffness of my foot, and therefore also in how I walk (maybe not the visible part, but certainly the feeling of it).
• Monday I also went shopping a bit for Altra shoes. These are running shoes, so they have cushioning, but also a feature the wider toebox with extra space for the big toe. I did not end up buying any, for they didn't have my size and I feel like I am spending a bit too much on my foot. Also: I don't think I am able to run yet, these would be for a bit more stabilization of the foot.
• So instead of getting new ones, I wore my old running shoes (the Asics GT-2000 8) for a few normal walks this week. I always size my running shoes a bit bigger (this one is 47) and that also gives a bit more room to the toes. I really want to get rid of the soreness in my left foot and I think stepping back to a bit more support really helped too. I just really value the effect barefoot shoes have on my big toes, so I don't want to wear too restrictive footwear anymore.
• From Thursday to Sunday I went to Spiel in Essen with A., and we played a lot of games, see the list below. My foot went well: I had a different pair of more sturdier shoes with me just in case, and I used those on the first day, but all the other days I wore barefoot shoes all day long and without noticeable pains. I even think the pains I had are much less now, thanks to the massaging.

Played

• Catan: kaartspel voor twee spelers, with Tovenaars en draken expansion – played this in the hotel after I found a copy with all expansions in a local thrift store for €2.50... worth at least 10 times as much.
• Command of Nature – also in the hotel before going to Spiel.
• Kluster – nice game of placing magnets in a circle until they cluster; part of the collection at the Boardgayming Amsterdam stand which we crashed after a day of walking through all the six halls of the Essen Messe.
• Tiny Epic Galaxies – also a staple old staple of A. and me, played at the Boardgayming stand.
• Open Season – a game where you try to hang heads of fantasy races on the wall, each position giving you a special kind of scoring. Reasonable mechanics, questionable theme.
• Eternitium (bought) – certainly a highlight: small and fast deck building game with beautiful artwork, in which you are time travelers trying to find a magic crystal.
• Valroc – much bigger game by the same creator as the above, but this one did not work for me. Too big, and it all felt a bit disconnected, combined with a rather thing story and a draft phase which we skipped in the demo but turned out to be unrecoverable important.
• Dungeon Legends – A. almost bought it but it was sold out. Bit of a tower defense game but with a more dungeon crawler feel to it, also with a bit of deck building. Comes in five (?) different scenarios you can play.
• Hidden Leaders Duel (playtest) – this game actually does not "exist" yet, as it was invented by my old coworker Michiel de Wit, who is now the publisher of the Dutch version of Hidden Leaders. It worked, but only after the game I understood how. (Can also blame the noisy environment for that.)
• Aeon's End: The New Age – we played the German version, with Germans, but they were kind enough to translate along the way. Nevertheless this was quite incomprehensible to me. We were all together trying to defeat a monster, playing cards to cast spells, buying new cards, opening bridges to be able to play more spells... but most of all we put a lot of maggots and flies on a board and that eventually killed us.
• Tokyo Highway: Rainbow City (bought) – after all these weird fantasy games I wanted some time to explore for myself and in the corner with Japanese games I found this lovely game where you are trying to create a highway by carefully placing wooden sticks on wooden blocks, topping them off with cute tiny rubber cars. The end result of the game looks amazingly complicated, how did we get here?
• (I also bought Scout in this corner, but I already played it before...)
• Linx – cute little game that one of the Swiss people pulled out of her bag while waiting for Tokyo Highway to begin. A mixture of rock-paper-scissors and tic-tac-toe. We did not finish it though.
• The Dick Sits – Adrian Collier's new game of which I am a Kickstarted backer. Also seen many iterations of it while playtesting at the Boardgayming evenings, but I really like the final version. Seeing friends explain this game to straight people was a new experience though.
• The Dragon Prince: Battlecharged – this one was also in the corner of the The Dick Sits stand that was reserved for the Boardgayming in Amsterdam community. (I think A. and I were the only ones who used it to play a non-Dick Sits game?) Unfinished game, because it was the end of the day and we were (rightfully) thrown out.
• The Flames of Fafnir – A. really really wanted to play this one. It is even more of a tower defense game, with the giant dragon Fafnir breathing fire in the form of orange marbles that are actually rolled across the board to knock over the miniature heroes and the obstacles that they place.
• Whoosh: Bounty Hunters – weird little game in which you turn over cards with icons of swords, bows, fire, ice etc., and must place your hand on one of the monster cards in the middle if it can be beaten by the matching icons that are currently visible. Not my type of game, but interesting fantasy twist in the genre.
• Go – I was watching a beginner game at the Go stand (both the beginner and the instructor made very weird moves... the instructor even claiming a false victory because there was a move that saved the beginner), when I was greeted by a familiar face – I think from a tournament in Bonn – so we played a quick game on a 13-by-13 board. It came down to komi, which we did not agree on beforehand, so we waived the result away. As I said to him: I should play more Go again.
• Die Patin (almost bought) – a maffia game but you're all animals, trying to control territory in a city by placing mobsters on street corners, while also opening back shops. It has interesting mechanics, including the fact that you can only score by having the biggest of something in one round per game, which makes all players pursue different goals each round. While writing this I am actually sad that A. talked me out of buying this one.
• Gnome Hollow (bought instead) – a cute game in which you are gnomes, trying to create paths (in a Carcassonne style) and collect the mushrooms along those paths, trading them for trinkets while planting flowers. Got less wholesome when A. denied two other players an addition to our shared path, turning it a bit more cutthroat, but thanks to some nice combo's I won anyway.
• Cloudy Kingdom – by a Dutch creator named Wouter, in which you place cards with crossroads (bit Saboteur-like) to connect your two castles, while denying other player's connections.
• Royale: Party at Louis' – by another Dutch creator also named Wouter, where you pick up sets of three cards (from a deck numbered 1 to 12 in different colors / dishes), and try to distribute them among nobles who are eating very specific diets ("give me only odd numbers of chicken", "give me any dish, but with a total value of 25").
• EOS: Island of Angles – a very big game to which A. made an appointment to play, but I am glad he did, because this was my favorite of the big games we played. It's an asymmetrical game (each player has their own set of actions they can take, which are different form the other players), where you are trying to sail towards angels, and win them over in order to fight the demons who are causing trouble. I had my main mechanic (both playing cards from my hand, as well as moving a bit faster than others) blocked for most part of the game, but I still managed to finish second after the instructor, who said she hadn't played on Spiel herself yet, and who did not hold back at all.
• Shogi – A. is a chess player, so I wanted to play the Japanese version of it with him. Of course he won easy, even in the strangeness of promotion and bringing back pieces to the board.
• Choconnect – interesting little four-in-a-row, except that there are three types of chocolate: with decorations of three, four and five, indicating how many in a row you need to win. And also: you slide chocolate in from the side.
• (Apart from this list, I also bought the RPG rulebooks for Thirsty Sword Lesbians and Death in Space.)

Oops, weeknotes, one day too late! This week I was in full revalidation mode, meaning: trying to go through all the pains. Where this previously resulted in less pain, this week it seems like there is no progress. I did however become stronger, I think, and that's also worth something.

Happened

• Monday I went to a physiotherapist after I promised someone at G.'s birthday party that I would do so. He taped my foot to improve walking in a more natural way, and he gave me some exercises. I've been my own physiotherapist up until now, guided by attention to pain and Youtube, but it doesn't hurt to ask a profesional.
• Tuesday I signed a contract for a new job. This means I'll start at Atleta in November, and I'll be taking a little vacation in the end of October. Hope my foot is healed enough for me to make it a bit more of an active holiday.
• My third Improvisation class went rough this time (in my experience, it was probably fine). It seems to me that I have a goal (not blocking, just flowing along) and I did block a lot when I had to play a scene. But maybe the fact that I have a goal is part of the blocking? This is not easy.
• I watched the rest of The Boyfriend, the Japanese gay dating show and it left a big impression on me. Both the way the participants talked about being gay (in Japan) as well as the way they were trying to convey their feelings to each other. Maybe I should also try again.
• My mom visited me on Thursday, for the first time since I live here in Amsterdam. Or well, she was here when I got the keys, but that's not the same. It was nice to show her the house but also a bit confrontational to see how much needs to be done in the house after more than a year of living here.
• I posted a bit about walking in barefoot shoes, but I've also started to train other muscles in my body. I guess the rehabilitation process after the broken foot makes me more aware of my body in general. I've found the term "calisthenics", through which I found all kinds of variations on body weight exercises which I can actually perform. Because: when I was on crutches, I noticed my arms could not support my body weight at all. My goal is to change that, and it's already improving. (I'm writing down all progress in a small physical notebook.)
• Sunday I finally played Frosthaven again. Getting adults into the same room to play a session within a campaign based board game is so hard. The next one will probably be in december, given all our calendars. But it was a good one: we were not crazy tired after the one scenario and opted for Munchkin instead of a second scenario, to keep that feeling.

Played

• Codenames: Deep Undercover (the adult version)
• Frosthaven
• Munchkin Bites! (a vampire themed version)

Watched

• The Boyfriend, episode 5-10
• Thermae Romae Novae (anime about a Roman architect who repeatedly gets transported to Japan while submerged in baths, learning and comparing the Japanese onsen culture to the Roman one. Certainly one of the craziest anime series I have seen)

After reading the first chapter of The Organized Mind last week, I felt like I was working on reducing chaos in my life. This week turned out to be much more chaotic. Imagining a week doesn’t make it necessarily so.

Happened

• Tuesday I brought my car to the planned service, finally, as it got moved because of my broken foot. It was a “groot onderhoud”, so I was expecting a big bill, but I was really shocked by the price of the new tires. With €1022 this is the biggest car bill I ever paid, apart from the purchase. My Volkswagen Up is one of the cheaper options, but it still made me rethink the whole concept of car ownership. Might blog about this.
• Improv got cancelled this week, so I went to Prik for Boardgayming for a full night of games. It was a lot of fun, see the list below.
• As the car got service in Amsterdam West, due to scheduling, I arranged an ebike as alternative transport. I have mixed feelings about driving an ebike in Amsterdam, which I should probably explain in a separate blogpost, but my biggest problem: the rental company had screwed in the board computer, so I couldn’t remove it, but someone on the streets of Amsterdam just pulled until it got loose, leaving me with a heavy bike without any e- anymore.
• Thursday evening there were even more boardgames. The Boardgayming event is not as big on Thursday as it is on Tuesday, but I still have hopes that it will improve a bit now that the summer is over and the Prik edition is sold out in no time every week.
• Friday I tried to find a forest to walk a bit with my new barefoot shoes on. It was really nice, you really feel the forest ground through the shoes and feel really connected to the soil. I did two walks of 1 kilometer ... anything more than that felt unsafe, as I am still recovering and you never know if you spot a wolf.
• The weekend had parties, which went well, considering my feet. Needed to sit a few times, had to be careful about other people not stepping on my foot, and only did some rudimentary dancing, but still, it was nice to be out again.
• Visited dad both Tuesday and Sunday. Tuesday ended a bit stressful, but by Sunday he seemed better again.

  Played

• Soggy Biscuits (prototype of the new game by Adrian Collier)
• Ca$h 'n Guns: Second Edition (cool bluffing game with actual foam guns)
• Taco Cat Goat Cheese Pizza (gorilla!)
• Cheese Thief (super fast social deduction, modern classic)
• Mountain Goats (interesting, but I suck at it because I can't do math that fast)
• Curios (easy and quick game, nice starter)
• Feed The Kraken (similar to Secret Hitler, but with an interesting two-way policy selectore)

  Listened

• “Cars are (REALLY) expensive!” episode of The Urbanist Agenda podcast

  Watched

• The Godfather (1972)
• Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind (1984)

It was a strange week with ups and downs, both in life and in my recovery.

Happened

• Monday was a confusing day at work. Let's leave it at that.
• Since I heard about it on Tuesday, I shared the new “NOS Journaal in makkelijke taal” with multiple people who I know are trying to learn Dutch. I have always liked the Japanese NHK News Easy and I am so glad we now also have this resource.
• On Wednesday I took an afternoon off to visit my dad. He’s doing fine again for now, but I want to prioritize seeing him while he is still with us.
• I’ve been slowly trying to mobilize my left foot again. I am already walking on it, but so far that has been a bit of limping. My goal for this week is to actually put some minor load on it, for example by doing some calf raises while I am sitting. It’s crazy how little power there is, but it’s also nice to see that by Wednesday, the situation had already improved so much. I even once managed to stand single legged on the left side for about 20 seconds.
• My enthusiasm on Wednesday also made me discover some exercises by following pain and discomfort, moving my feet in ways that was uncomfortable but not too painful. The videos I found online afterwards confirmed my findings: they recommended most of those movements. All the discomfort and immobility was back on Thursday, and for the sake of not rushing things I did not repeat them too much, but it feels good to be in control of the progress.
• By Friday I felt like there was no progress at all in my walking. It's a bit demoralizing, having pain and knowing that it's probably something I should "go through", but also not being completely certain if this is the correct kind of pain to be seeking out. Am I reducing the soreness, or am I actually hurting my bone?
• Saturday I went to the Boardgayming XL event, where I played Delta Green again with Y. as DM. We played from 14:00 to 21:00, so practically the whole event. Afterwards, I found A. who did not survive in his game of Nemesis (which was still going on with the other players), so we played a few times with my new game Sky Team, which is a two-player cooperative game in which you are trying to land a plane silently assigning dice rolls to all kinds of buttons and levers you need to balance. It's a really fun game, would recommend.
• On Sunday, my dad was home again, as usual I went to Leiden to visit him. My stepmom said she saw real progress in the way I walked, compared to last week and compared to Wednesday. I was glad to hear this, did some more balancing on one leg and felt indeed that it improved. I even dared to walk a bit on forefoot, and it went really well and painless. Being my own physiotherapist, looking for natural motions, guided by pain and soreness seems to pay off after all.

  Read

• The Organized Mind by Daniel Levitin, introduction and chapter 1

  Played

• Sky Team, successfully landed on Montréal-Trudeau (green), Haneda (green) and Kuala Lumpur (yellow).

  Listened

• En niemand bleef onaangeraakt (podcast about the HIV pandemic), episode 1

  Watched

• Fight Club (1999)
• The Boyfriend (the Japanese gay dating show on Netflix), episode 1-4

Another week, and more recovery. I feel like I am almost back to normal now, but I am very aware that I shouldn't think that too fast.

Happened

• On Monday I went to the doctor again for my foot. We did not do any x-rays, it was mostly just a talk about how it went. She told me I can take off the weird sandal and use normal shoes, that if I have pain I should go back to the weird one, and that I don’t have to come back anymore, as I can probably heal myself on my own. In my head I heard all my international friends scream how Dutch this is, but hey, I am Dutch and I actually prefer this approach.
• Tuesday I had my first improvisation class. I notice that I blank a lot when playing D&D and I would like to be able to silence my inner critic a bit more and just go with whatever is happening at the table (or in other life situations). The first session was mostly about learning names, but it had some really interesting simple but very hard games.
• After improv I went to Prik for boardgames, which was the first time I’ve been there since my foot broke. I just stopped by for a tosti and didn’t actually play anything, but it was nice to be able to do so again.
• Wednesday I felt I practiced enough with normal shoes in and around the house, so took them to the office. Also swapped the electric car I’ve borrowed (no clutch) for my Volkswagen Up again. It’s disturbing how much a fuel car shakes and I feel even more guilty now that I drive it (short distances) again.
• Friday evening was D&D again, this time with me as DM. I intended to run a homebrew heist, but because there was so much going on this week (I don’t share everything here), I just took a published adventure which turned into less of a heist than I hoped, but was still fun.
• Saturday I went shopping and to the park, then to the birthday of M., which was a nice social activity with plenty of sofa’s. The shopping was mostly by bike, but I did use normal shoes throughout the day and that all goed every well, considering this is week 5, but I should still be careful.
• I actually notice that I have more pain in the normal sturdy shoes than I have on bare foot in my house. Granted: in neither case I walk naturally yet, but it made me want to explore something I wanted to try out for a long time, so I bought “barefoot” shoes. They fit well and walking on them is strange but not painful. Will experiment with them carefully.
• (I didn’t dare to buy the individually toed shoes – search for “Vibram fivefingers” – but I did fit them and they feel amazing and I am going to try to dare to do that.)
• Sunday I visited my dad again. It's nice that I can move myself enough so that I can actually reach Leiden on my own, and it's also nice that I am recovered enough that I can push his wheelchair through the weekly puzzle that is our hallway. Yet, although I am recovering, from wheelchair to crutches to walking barefoot, he is not and never will. But I am glad we do the things we still have.

  Read

• The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss (chapters 23-26)

  Watched

• Ocean’s Eleven (2001)

At the beginning of this week, all hope for a speedy recovery seemed far away, but a week worth of healing is still a lot.

Happened

• As I wrote previously, Tuesday and Wednesday I started and finished composing a shared document about Hadini's Hotel, the imaginary infinite hotel that we use within the Boardgayming community to hold our Dungeons and Dragons sessions together.
• On Wednesday, I was in a lot of pain again. I always imagined having a broken bone as a piercing pain, but so far it has been more of a bludgeoned pain. (Using D&D terms here, in Dutch I would express this as "stekende pijn" vs "beurse pijn".) On Wednesday there was piercing pain all of the sudden. I think it's because – even though I have been very religious about wearing the weird shoe while walking – I've been taking it off while sitting down. And sometimes I like to sit down in weird poses, pushing my foot against the chair. From then on, I always wore the weird shoe even more.
• On Thursday, I saw a man who clearly recently lost his left foot. I am very grateful I have mine still, and that it heals so well so far, even though it seems to go slow at times.
• My seemingly weekly D&D session was on Friday this week, and it was the second part of A.'s first try at DM'ing. The first part was in week 2 and I used the wheelchair a lot back then, but now I actually cycled to J.'s house and walked the short distances to the elevator and such without crutches. It seemed like I was the least tired person at the table, so many people having been on holidays and festivals, but it was still nice to finish the session.
• I've been wanting to go to Subcultures again for weeks and Saturday I finally thought it wouldn't be too unreasonable to take the train to Utrecht with my broken foot. I took my Cabin Zero backpack and attached both crutches via the straps on the sides of it. I walked without them to Bijlmer Arena (which is 400 meters) and then in Utrecht I used them both all the way to Subcultures. I don't know why this boardgame store attracts me so much, but I love being there and browsing their (Indie) RPG section. I bought Kids on Bikes: 2nd edition and also visited some other stores in Utrecht before going back early again.
• Today on Sunday I went to Sassenheim and Leiden again to visit my dad. There are some concerning things, but he seemed doing better today and it was a relaxing afternoon. Today included a combined 3km of walking, and I don't have pain now, so my foot is really healing. I am curious what the doctors will say tomorrow.
• One good thing that came from the broken foot is that my arms are starting to gain muscle, thanks to the crutches. In the first week, I could not support myself with my arms for very long, but walking through Utrecht this week I noticed that has changed. Let's see if I can keep this promise to myself, but I want to keep training my arms. Thanks to running I could easily support my full body weight on one leg, and the goal is to be able to do the same with my combined arms.

  Read

• The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss (chapters 16-23)